I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize