if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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