But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
