Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
