you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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