we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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