I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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