We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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