yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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