Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
