Already got asked if we're dating
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
