You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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