My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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