But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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