what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Randomize
