I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
