You just made me feel so damn special
too bad you live with your parents still
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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