How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
