Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
