Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
