Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
A bitchslap is in order.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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