I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
