my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
