does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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