I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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