Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
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he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
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Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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