I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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