my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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