My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
