don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
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Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
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I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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