I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Are we in a gay sports bar?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
