Banned from zoo.
Again?
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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