oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
