the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Randomize
