How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
operation harelip BJ is a go
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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