she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
