Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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