he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize