road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
COCAINE IS GR8
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
