Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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