You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I met the friendliest cop last night
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
