i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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