I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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