I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
only you would photoshop your dick
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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