Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
