Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
birth control should be required to get into college
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize