i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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