Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
love makes seman taste better
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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