i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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