He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
this boner is exhausting
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
