One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
