y did u give ur computer a hand job?
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
