Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
organizing the empties. That sober.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize