The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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