hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
