They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
