Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
dude. I can hear the air.
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