i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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