He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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