i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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