How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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