I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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