When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
