BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
