areolas are like halos for boobs.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
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I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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