In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
