in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
