I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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