I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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