I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
P.S. I can't hear my feet
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
