FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Randomize
